Hung-Ho-Hum

While the entire Indian media seems gung-ho over the much delayed execution of Ajmal Kasab, cartoonist Vikas Sabnis emerged with an extremely significant cartoon today. In which a common housewife, looking at Balasaheb’s picture on the wall, remarks ‘His remote–control seems to be very active once again.’

Even Sabnis may not have conceived how accurate this remark would turn out to be. Because not only have the Shiv-sainiks meted out punishment to two Palghar girls over an innocuous comment on Facebook, but in spite of the furore against the act, they have publicly threatened one Abhay Kamble with appropriate action for an undisclosed FB comment. This is of course, if the police fail to arrest Kamble within 8 days.

Meanwhile, some government sources have announced that Balasaheb would soon be making an entry into school books in Maharashtra. Here I must make mention of the news that the charred Mantralaya building’s repair job (worth Rs.138 cr) has been rewarded to the builder of ‘Matoshree’ (Mr Thakerey’s address for the last few decades!)

One Marathi sms doing rounds these days puts it very well , it says “Balasaheb laagle kamala, Aadesh dile yamala, Mhanale  bolavun ghe Kasabla”. Loosely translated it means ‘Balasaheb gets down to work and orders Yama (the hindu God of death) to lift  Kasab from the earth.’

It would seem like Yamasaheb did oblige Balasaheb and the Indian government conducted the top-secret orchestra at Yerawada.

Meanwhile, the Taliban it seems, are not ‘hung-ho’ that India did not hand over kasab’s body for an ‘Islamic burial’ (this is after Pakistan refused India’s offer to send the body over to them). In retaliation, they have threatened to attack Indians ‘anywhere’ and with no intention of returning their bodies to India.

Imran Khan (ex-cricketer & current Pak P.M – hopeful), on the other hand, has demanded that the indian prisoner Sarabjeet Singh be ‘hanged’ immediately.  

While on the subject of ‘hanging’, here are are some other news stories that caught my attention:

Mamta Banerjee (who gets cartoonists arrested) is moving a ‘no-confidence motion in the Lok Sabha which could result in nothing less  than ‘a  hung-parliament’.                                                                              

Sachin Tendulkar (who has not scored more than 20 runs in an inning in his last 20 outings in international cricket) is finally considering ‘hanging’ his boots in 2012. 

--by Manu

 

The 50 Crore Girlfriend

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As I gingerly sip my sugarless morning tea, I detect that the newspapers are filled with exposes and angry retaliations.

Narendra Modi called Shashi Tharoor’s wife- Sunanda Pushkar ‘a 50 crore girlfriend’. The incensed Tharoors hit back at Modi; calling him an uncultured man with no respect for women.

Meanwhile, the unstoppable Kejrival went on to expose the union law minister Salman Khursheed ‘s ‘meagre’ Rs.71 lakh fraud. Khursheed retaliated by challenging the whistleblower to walk out alive from his constituency-Farrukhabad!

The following week Kejriwal revealed Nitin Gadkari’s shenanigans with Purti group of companies. Before the naive tax-paying public could swallow this one, an RSS man jumped into the circus claiming that Narendra Modi, with his sights on the PM’s seat, had orchestrated the Gadkari expose.

It seems like Digvijay Singh, who by virtue of being a Congress party spokesman deserved to be linked to some messy political scrap, was completely left out.  He proceeded to nosedive into the media soiree by saying ‘Kejriwal is like Rakhi Sawant because they both expose, but their exposures are without any ‘substance’.

Now Rakhi may quietly accept comments that belittle her mind, but she believes robustly in the ‘substance’ she possesses, i.e her body. Having invested diligently in the ‘up’ keep of her gifts, Rakhi rose rapidly from the ashes (of this insult) and exploded into the airwaves.

‘I will show this man’ Rakhi Sawant announced stoically.  Without revealing specifically what she would like to show him, she proceeded to a police station in Goregaon, Bombay to lodge a complaint against Digvijay Singh. 

To her credit, Ms.Sawant also lambasted politicians for watching dirty videos in parliament, while the country suffered. But clearly, what seemed to drive her was the sweet smell of free publicity. 

Digvijay Singh, on the other hand, seems happy to continue this media-union between him and his item girl. When asked why he dragged Rakhi into the Kejrival episode, he replied with a dim grin ‘because I have been an ardent fan of Rakhi since many years.’ 
 

It may be just a coincidence that Rakhi is planning a 50 crore defamation suit against Singh. Though it does seem that if she wins this outlandish case, we gullible bystanders would have come a full circle. Narendra Modi can then call Rakhi Sawant a 50 crore girlfriend! (whose girl friend is anybody’s guess.)  

--By Manu